The Scale of the Badlands Challenge is Hitting Me
Final thoughts before I start
Badlands kicks off at 8 AM CEST on Sunday, August 31st. You can dot watch and follow some live updates on Dot Watchers and the Badlands Instagram.
It’s Saturday morning, and I have 24 hours before I roll out for my longest-ever race and furthest one-shot ride. My friend, Jace Cimabue, who is also racing, asked me if I still get nervous for races like this.
Absolutely.
I’m far from an “experienced” ultra racer, and even if I were, these events are not like weekend cross races where the format is always the same and racers know what to expect. Every race will throw curveballs that can test even the most battle-hardened riders.
There have been a few surreal moments when I’ve been hit with the thought of how long I will be out there. My longest single-stage race has been 27 hours. This will be at least double that. I’ve tried to picture how I will feel at that mark, crossing a new divide while I’m already shoulder deep in oblivion. How will my body handle this extra time? How will my mind stay positive when I’m as empty as I have been at the end of Unbound, but there’s no light at the end of the tunnel?
Honestly, some of the nerves come from performance anxiety. I want to do well. I’m pretty confident that I could finish this. I could stop, sleep, and get it done like a bikepacking event. No matter how much I try to say I want to simply enjoy the experience and learn, I want to be up there. I’m competitive, and it’s hard to shake that.
There absolutely are moments when I feel like an imposter in this space, and this is one of them. Other top riders seem relaxed, as if this is a short stroll. I have to remind myself, however, that they, too, are experiencing those voices in their heads, questioning how much to carry, analyzing others’ Ferrari setups in comparison to their own seemingly overloaded box trucks.
I have to try to push out those thoughts. I am far from experienced, but I also have enough races under my belt that I’ve learned what works for me and what does not. For each new race I do, I am a little bit wiser than I was before the last one, and I need to remember that. I need to stick to what I know. I also need to acknowledge and be ok with the reality that I will make mistakes in this race, and like in every other long race I have done before, I will come out smarter from it.
I’m not only experiencing nerves. I’m also very excited. I know that, despite the pressure I put on myself to perform well, I will be very proud if I finish this event and feel like I’ve done everything I can. It’s hard not to be, no matter who you are, and that’s one reason I love races like this. Nothing beats the memories you make and the feeling of internal accomplishment you carry after doing something very challenging.
For now, I just have to relax, enjoy the last few hours of life in the slow lane, and when time comes to spend a few days pedaling, embrace whatever comes along, because I can say one thing for sure, and that’s that I do not know what will come.
PS. For any readers, here is my personal live tracking (I have a GPS messenger). If you'd like, feel free to send any messages of encouragement through that link. I’m not sure I will get them since I won’t be looking at it, but it is linked to my phone, and anything helps ;)
Congrats on the podium!!